Woh! Stop Right There.

I decided last year to give up my comfortable lifestyle to go back to college. While studying in the library I notice the school newspaper and flip through it for a break from Marine Biology. A change from The Wall Street Journal and New York Times but mostly expected information for college students. Women at risk for sexual assault, A student who does not give up, medical history on line, spotlight on a professor,teen pregnancy....Ways to get cash in college. I stop and read.
The Below is a paste from the article. That made me feel compelled to write this.

http://nsucurrent.nova.edu/?p=1306
"If your book bag is heavy and your wallet is light, you’re most likely a college student. But being broke doesn’t have to be part of your college experience. Here are some ways to make extra cash.

Sell your stuff online
List your personal items and sell them on eBay or Craigslist. Someone might want to buy your old videogames, movies, comic books or other items.
Sell your body parts
Don’t start removing your organs just yet. These body parts are replaceable. Clinics will pay you up to $35 for blood plasma, $40 for sperm, and $5,000 or more for eggs.
Turn your car into an advertisement
If you are willing to give your car a makeover, you can get paid to put advertisements on your car. Companies pay drivers to display their advertisements with bumper stickers, graphic panels or a full car wrap.

Sell your clothes
Clean out your closet and trade your used clothing for cash. Consignment stores such as Plato’s Closet buy used clothes in exchange for money.
Get an on-campus job
Having trouble finding a job off campus? Become a lab monitor, work at the food court or become a security officer — just a few of the jobs offered at NSU. On-campus jobs provide good salaries and some include benefits such as discounted tuition.
Participate in medical research
If you don’t mind being a guinea pig, then participate in a research study. The pay for volun-teering varies depending on the amount of time involved and the study’s risks.
Sell your books
When the semester ends, don’t throw your textbooks in a corner of your room. The bookstore will buy back many of your used textbooks for half their selling price. If not, you can sell them online.
Get coupons
With coupons, you can sign up for birthday club rewards, get free breakfast at IHOP, get $35 off a Benihana meal or receive free ice cream from Coldstone.
College life can be expensive and taking advantage of creative options of making extra money can alleviate money woes and make the college experience that much sweeter."

Back up A MINUTE. ...Ok fine sell your Nintendo if you can but BODY PARTS. I'm all for donating blood if you can but actually suggesting that college students make the desperate decision to donate sperm or eggs is deep. Your going to have a child running around out there! Or maybe 400 children guys! Not to mention do you know what kind of hormones you have to go through to donate an egg? You also can not have sex for a significant amount of time. So 18 year old's, please consider what your semester would be like on hormone drugs without having sex to donate an egg for a child that will have your genes.
Cool put a magnet on your car and advertise for Viagra, Monster Energy or Ebay. But that's not as easy as it sounds either especially if your car looks like most I see on campus. Company's don't want your 89 Buick as a model for their reputation.
Sure sell your clothes but if their not top designer and from the last 3 months you wont get anything for them and you will have wasted your time washing them and driving them to the store. Plus when your their you will probably buy more then you sell. I speak from experience.
So when you apply for these on campus jobs you notice that even grad students walk away with best 12hr for max 25h a week right? That is $300 a week (before taxes) , $15,000 year (before taxes) Not to mention most positions only pay $8 and hour and you can only work for 20hrs a week. There is few positions available and not always on your campus. Can you even buy books and food off that income? Not to mention why your here in the first place... your educational expenses.

Be a Guinea Pig?! on I'm a Science Major and this is a NO in my books. I'm all for having a beer even though it kills brain cells, and catching some rays even though it can cause some serious harm but treating me like a lab rat? Your recommending this? You have and education? I believe medical research should only be performed on death row inmates but I will spare readers my rant and just suggest you do some serious researcher before ever making this choice.
Sell your books because you will not use them again. If you ever need the information there are way better data bases then some of these stupid books anyway. And sure cut coupons if you find time but its more like $1 of your $40 grocery purchase, lets be real.

We all know these options are out there but for this writer to suggest these things in a college newspaper is shocking to me.  I knew I was giving up  a lot to go back to school ...but my organs?! I also left out that this college is a expensive private institution and I have higher expectations then this. I'm disappointed in your suggestions and Ill keep my bartending job. Thanks college news paper, I think Ill continue reading The New York Times.

Car Heading To Hollywood

Wish you could go to Hollywood and be in a movie? Well at least have your sexy car in a new movie. My friend Dave has just this chance, not to mention clearly the sexiest car featured. 

Check out his right hand drive Skyline! 

Then go vote for car #7! You can vote more then once. 

http://www.borntoracemovie.com/Site/Vote_Now.html

1995 R33 Skyline - Right hand drive, RWD, RB25DET motor, Front Mount Inter cooler, Seat belt Harness Bar w/ fire extinguisher and Go-Pro Camera, AEM Tru-Boost gauge, Colored shift boot and e-brake boot, Ground Effect kit.

My First Manatee Encounter in Key Largo

Key Largo September 2010
Hidden Lake Mangroves & Grecian Dry Rock  Reef

Mangroves

My first ever visit to a protected mangrove area could not ave been more perfect. The rain lifted and the clouds cleared just as we were ready to head out to the water.  As the group was putting on wetsuits and rinsing goggles with fresh water we had a surprise visit from a young manatee. In this area of the Florida Keys Manatees will enjoy the opportunity to drink the fresh water we were using from the spout. After a short ride through a man made cut we where we where able to view old fossilized corals and tropical birds we arrived to a lush mangrove with turtle grass and live algae. We were able to view small snapper fish, Small sea stars, little oysters and even swim with another manatee. Some students viewed small barracuda, and snails also. I was in my element in the water and wanted more!

Coral Reef

The afternoon was warm and our boat headed out about 30minutes to a protected coral reef. The water was absolutely clear and the various beautiful colors could be seen from the boat. The surf was ruff and once in the water we were right on top of the reef. There were queen conch settled in the bottom and Large Barracuda swimming in groups. The coral was stunning, so many forms, colors and sizes, most of witch I have just begun to learn about.  A yellow sting ray swam right under us. We studied a honeycomb Cowfish hovering on the bottom. Many angel fish swimming together, schools of doctor fish swam by, a few different species of parrot fish could be seen biting the coral. Even a small shark! The animal life was everywhere! We were visitors in their world and I was in my element.
The day spent on the water was a great hands on learning experience that I will not soon forget.

Sara Diane Hindle

Late every August when most people are thinking about school, there last beach trips, Labor Day weekend, Football and BBQ's Sara is not far from my thoughts. Henderson, Chester County lost a Warrior 12 years ago this year and although gone I will not forget.

We were getting ready to start High School, Most of us anyway. It was late August 1998 and we were trying to get in our last moments of summer before we were freshmen. Summer School was barley over and there was not nearly enough time for all the fun that had to be had, Bomb Fires, BBQs, Beers, Concerts, Car Trips, Friends, and Boyfriends.

It was one of these nights that Sara (then 14) walked outside late at night to have a cigarette and was murdered. We all found out the tragic news a year later, however. West Chester went back to school without Sara while her friends worked with detective Catov to find her.

Life immediately became a dark funnel cloud without peace. I could not tell you much about a teacher, grade, boyfriend.. Anything that happened for approximately the next six months. I was asked to leave Henderson High School in October after being involved in a fight in the sophomore wing.

August 30, 1999 a routine maintenance worker found 90% of Sara's skeletal remains in a sewer after lifting a man hole to perform routine maintenance. The man hole was yards from her home.

February 13, 2004 Detectives received a confession from Matthew Gianboi (18 years old at the time of the murder). He was a neighbor and acquaintance and confessed to strangling Sara during what he proclaimed to be 'consensual sex' (we all know that’s a lie) and put her body in the man hole.

During prosecution in August 2004 Heather and I sat in the front holding hands. Judge MacElree asked Giamboi to tell Sara's friends and family what happened that night. He asked him to turn and face the court. Giamboi looked us in the eyes so cowardly and still lied and 'apologized for our loss'
The Judge proclaimed -" You are clearly responsible for her death," MacElree said. "It’s hard to imagine one human being can be so callous toward another. For the rest of your life, her face, her memory should be etched in yours."

Heather and I did not need words. We cried for all that Sara will never experience. We cried tears of pure anger for the lies, deceit and selfishness. We cried for each other for what we had been through for so many years, for all it did to change us and so many others that were not there that day.

Sara was book smart, street smart, artistic, gorgeous 5" 5' with blond (sometimes black) hair and blue eyes. She was funny rebellious and losing her so young was a definite loss to so many that never even had the chance to know her.

Due to little evidence and no witnesses the detectives were pushed to a third degree murder charge with the confession and Giamboi is serving a 10-40 year prison sentence upstate.

Sara is buried in West Chester.


http://missing87975.yuku.com/forums/52/t/PENNSYLVANIA.html

http://www.dailylocal.com/articles/2004/08/26/frontpage/12783016.txt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwC0RTAC2Pg

Eating to Live, Not Living to Eat.

Yesterday I dropped the TV remote in a glass of green tea, now its not working. I resorted to surfing the web instead of watching shark week, and what I found may have potentially changed my life and the way I look at food forever!
I eat very healthy, no read meat or pork, low carbs, low sugars high natural foods however I just got a whole lot healthier. I just switched to a all natural, organic raw, diet, and its exciting! What is it? Basically if it comes from earth I can eat it and if it comes from a factory I can not. Some people chose to eat meat and dairy, others eat only vegan. I cut out dairy and meat for now. Raw fruits and veggies have so ton of nutrients to make your body sexy. You see signs all the time on cereal and juice, 50% more vitamin C, Added calcium, added vitamin D, Twice as much fiber. I'm choosing to get those by eating apple and oranges and skip the high fructose corn syrup, ascorbic acid and a bunch of stuff I can't even spell but used to put in my organs.

The advantages of organic food is ridiculous. Conventional foods have pesticides on them to prevent bugs from eating them. They are harmful to bugs and to our body. The benefits of raising oxygen and lowering acid levels in the bloodstream, by eating the right foods are extreme!  Allergies can be cured, Asthma can be prevented and cured and diseases such as cancers, heart decease and diabetes can all be prevented just by making educated decisions about the food we put into our body as fuel. Alzheimer's, ADD, ADHD and vision problems can all be prevented. That fat in your stomach is because of toxins from processed foods that can not be digested. Weight loss can be significant  and we all know America needs to loos a few pounds. Energy levels will almost always rise, leading to a more active healthy lifestyle. Your Immune system & sex drive will increase. If we have healthy balanced bodies the need for prescription medications will decrease drastically! The list goes on!

I ran to Whole Foods last night with my new list in the middle of hurricane weather. I got all organic veggies, peaches, apples, bananas, lemons, avocados, almonds, cashews, almond butter, jam, hummus, pure coco, and coconut water as a start. I love coconut water its a thousand times better for you then Gatorade and recommended to athletes for its electrolytes. 

I made 'ice cream' with a banana, ice and scoop of coca in a blender and it was delicious!! I dipped sliced cucumber in organic spinach and artichoke hummus and made a lunch wrap from a collard green leaf filled with chopped up tomato, avocado, squash, mushroom, broccoli, and carrots. It was fresh and yummy. I only spent $50 and I have enough food for more then a week. 

 

 My roommate thinks I'm nuts and my boyfriend/trainer is sceptical, but I'm excited to eat all natural and look sexy.

I can't wait to learn great recipes and hear from other people enjoying this healthy lifestyle.

Thank You Broken Remote! 

Chesapeak Canal Day

Going into it I expected a fun day out on the water with fellow boaters including a tan and some drinks. Silly me Canal Day on the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland turned out to exceed my expectations and a fairly epic adventure.

We loaded the car with packed coolers, flotation devised, cameras and of course cowboy hats then embarked on the 2 hour drive south. It was a beautiful morning with the sun already hot. Since we were told that glass bottles were not permitted on deck of the boat LM and I improvised by drinking much of a case and pouring the rest into large plastic bottles. The 6 of us climbed on board 'Captain Bob's' boat and headed headed out to the inlet with our bikinis, beverages and cow girl hats.

You could not miss the hundreds of boats tied together joining in the fun. As fellow young boaters waved we waved back trying to find the perfect spot to tie in on the fun. We saw all types of boats, big small sail boats, and even a pirate ship! That's when the water balloons came in. They started flying at us from every angle, splashing on the boat and our bodies. Everyone was giggling and some were even squirting water guns. We were drenched! Our electronics barely survives the massacre.

The coast guard boats hung close, entire bottles of alcohol were spilled, bruises occurred and laughing was plentiful. The whole canal was a great big mardi gra type bash. We enjoyed hours of fun before the sun was coming down and  'Captain Bob' needed to take the boat out of the canal.

LM and I decided we were not ready to call it a day and decided to adventure and stay at the Chesapeake Inn where there were many more friends and the party was a whole different tropical scene. We befriended police officers, and greeted friends that were bearing pink water winds with swim trunks. We danced the night away drinking and laughing. I dumped water on one young boy who was complementing my breast.

Many items found their fate at the bottom of that inlet including sunglasses, phones, and cameras. The rest is history, however I will let you know that I set a fire alarm off in a apartment complex ... in Delaware. Defiantly one of those weekends you need to experience for yourself! So if you can get there this weekend because I want to hear your story!

A Lesson From the Amish

Recently after watching the movie "Amish Grace" I was instructed to write a paper on Capital Punishment. Here is some of the thoughts the true story and some Buddhist cultural influences helped me put together.

     In October 2006 a Man named Charles walked into a small Amish school house and shot about 11 girls, before taking his own life. 5 of the young girls died. Charles who committed the murders  was distraught over the death of his own young daughter and reacted out of anger similar to the way many in our culture see fit.
     Only hours after Amish fathers learned of the deaths of their children they reacted by going to visit the shooters family and offered fresh baked goods. The fathers did not have revenge, justice or anger on there minds but compassion and mourning and forgiveness, for they understood the shooters family was also in grief of the loss of a husband, father and son. The local communities learning of the crime were confused about the reactions of the Amish fathers towards the family of the man that took their daughter's lives. However these fathers set a great example for not only local neighbors and communities but also for state and government officials whom mandate laws for crimes. The Amish were able to see past Charles' actions , recognize humanity sympathize with his family for their loss and see past revengeful hate.

     The united states has been increasingly exacting punishment for crimes and punishing violence with more violence. This is extremely evident with capital punishment. Society has come to believe that an "eye for and eye" is a natural human reaction. The Amish did not automatically translate their grief for revenge. Rather the Amish believe about redemption. I believe that punishment and revenge are fundamentally at odds with the deeper common value of humanity. As The Buddha was quoted "An action even if it brings benefit to oneself, cannot be considered a good action if it causes physical and mental pain to another being."

     If inhumane treatment of an offender does not solve their misdeeds or those of humanity in general  the best approach to an offender is reformatory rather than punitive.  With the acceptance of grief, anger and revenge should not follow. Each and every one of us is more then the worst thing we have ever done punishing crimes with excessive cruelty, like a death sentence, will not only likewise kill another human but injure the mind of the person harboring the anger. Most societies have much to learn about anger and forgiveness. When humans hold onto anger it will destroy themselves, to act with concern and compassion creates forgiveness that is ultimately for the victims own good. Actions of anger for consequences of regret and it is impossible to administer server punishment with composure and compassion. 
     Punishment should only be to the extent to which the offender needs to make amends, and his rehabilitation into society should be of paramount importance. There is many broken windows in our legal system and justice is one of them. There are deeper sociological and socioeconomic barriers that criminals challenge and our legal system should be working with mental health professionals to solve the injustice of killing. I believe the fundamentals around fairness should be be questioned beyond moral injustice and cultural differences.
Punishment from revenge is not fitting to the benefit of the overall culture and the soul of the humans involved including the, criminal. Gandhi said, “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind,” the Amish are providing the rest of us with an eye-opening lesson.

Boonin, David and Oddie, Graham - "What's Wrong Applied Ethicist and Their Critics",  Second Edition 2005

Miami Adventure

May 19-  We woke up and decided today was the day we were going to start our adventure. After quickly packing our bags and booking tickets we headed down the Atlantic City Expressway. After a delayed flight and mimosas at a airport bar we are off to Boston where we have a layover.

We exit the plan in Boston for a humorous 4 Minutes and re-board to our Destination, Fort Lauderdale. 11PM we touchdown in the land of palm trees and check into our hotel to catch some sleep.
My 20 -We wake up with much to accomplish. After snagging a free breakfast and making phone calls we catch a taxi to Enterprise Rent a Car to pick a vehicle. The kind employee behind the enterprise counter informs me that I may not drive. Ha, Right. We have an insanely busy day and in our process of trying to concour the town we realize how laid back life is here, at first it was annoying to me to watch the pace of life around me. We grabbed seats at a Irish Pub, just past Miami Ink in South Beach to watch the Flyers play in the playoffs. Our fellow drinkers cheer on the Canadians while we stand out as Philadelphians, especially to a guy with a back pack that grabbed a seat next to us at the bar. We engage conversation and learn that he is a camera guy for the Jersey Shore show currently taping n Miami for MTV. He just got done working a shift and tells us a bit about the cast. When the games over and our new friend leaves we go for a walk on the beach in the dark. As I step into the warm Atlantic waters and realize my dreams are coming true. Behind me is the city lights of South Beach. I sit in the sand and give BL a call, Its very bittersweet and I miss him.

We need to head back to our hotel and cancel the party planed for us because we realize we will not be home in time.
May21- Day two arrives quickly. At our free hotel breakfast, I realize I do not have my debit card. I have no idea what happened to it. We take off to the bank to get my 3rd replacement card of the year and begin our day of responsibilities. The traffic and heat are intense here in South Florida and during a Starbuck's run I drove the wrong direction on a highway accidentally and almost killed myself. kennedy's interview was awesome and it turns out to be the Job she starts and loves. I head to my college campus for a tour and to sign up for classes. The Campus is beautiful and my adviser is very helpful. I grab my student ID and cant believe its all coming together so quickly.

We grab lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe and I apply for a job. After some a exhaustion day and some good food we go to check out about our 30th apt, this one is on a Marina in a cute residential area. We Love it right away. We decide to check into a hotel, it will be my first time ever staying at one and I had my reservations at first.  My reservations disappeared after we met absolutely great people from all over the world. We head to check out another apartment that gets rulled out due to a huge dead cockroach on the floor. We grab some drinks and head back to the hostel to watch a hockey game with our new friends. After the game we head to a bar close by, with our drinks in our hand. We grab some food and drinks and watch the people enjoy dancing on tables inside the marina bar. I'm happy to see that dancing on tables is accepted since i have a reputation for dancing on them myself. After a quiet bite on the canal we hail a $35 taxi ride to Fort Lauderdale. We have been told Fort Lauderdale is better then South Beach and our cab driver agrees. We dance the night away and check out the scene. 1 bartender was so obviously drunk he could not open his eyes or pour drinks and opened a can or red bull by jabbing a pen into it, then continued to pour it into my drink. Another bar had nearly naked girls dancing on the bar and we almost walked into a gay bar. We leave at 2pm, 2 hours before the bars close and go for a walk on the beach. By 4am I'm out cold.

May 22- I head out early hunting for a beach towel because I need a tan. I grab some essentials including my favorite book and head to the white sand just beyond the palm trees where there is the bluest warmest water. As I lay in the sun I reflect on life in my new town I will soon call home.

Status is everything
Luxury cars are everywhere.
There is a laid back diverse culture.
Beautiful people are everywhere.
Fashion, Flash, and Glam.

A great Belgium girl attending college in New York checks in the hostel and she joins us for a fun dinner and drinks at the Cheesecake Factory, in the Aventura Mall. I make a note to make it back to this huge mall. We grab bottles and plastic cups and head to South Beach for some fun. We start by finishing our drinks with butts in the sand and red plastic cups in our hands. We continue onto the check our some bars and walk past Johnny Varsaces Mansion (the home of club Mansion) We choose the Clevelander, a huge 4 floor club with each floor offering great DJ's, Drinks and entertainment. The whole 'U' shaped club over looks an outdoor poll bar and massive DJ stage. Not to mention the beach. We found ourselves dancing in the 4th floor VIP lounge and I'm in awe of the general feel and energy of the place. We crash around 3am.

May 23-  Morning starts with a Starbucks run and we revive notice that we got the apartment on the marina we loved! I spend the day on the beach with Julie and reflect on some of the friends and family back home I will soon be leaving, its very bittersweet and parts of me feel guilty. I think of BL and have many questions that only time can answer. We have a low key evening that includes checking out our new place and neighbors who seem nice. We relax at the hostel and take it all in.

May 24-We start early, Kennedy starts her first day at work and I head to sign the lease with our new landlords. My aunt calls to tell me that my grandmother has been sent to the hospital with a possible heart attack and I breakdown crying.I want to be there and it hits me that Im not going to be blocks away from my family and friends any longer. I feel a scene of guilt that I guess anyone would feel when leaving the people they love to follow their dreams.  By noon i head to the beach to read alone and do some shopping at Ron Jon before heading to pick Kennedy up and dropping off our rental car. We head to the airport and wait longer then expected to fly home. After a 2hr flight home we begin the 2 hour drive from Atlantic City and I'm excited to see BL.
My Last week in my home town - After eating breakfast in bed I head to the hospital to see my grandmother. It brings tears to my eyes to see her sick and have to say goodbye. I only have a a few days left, I visit friends and BL and i head to the beach for a few days.  BBQ's.

May 30th we head back from the beach early and load the Uhaul full of my life after an exhausting day we have dinner with my family and watch a movie with his parents. Memorial Day BL and I spend the day  having a nice BBQ at his place and when Kennedy is done loading the Uhaul we say our goodbyes and begin our journey driving south to or new hope. I think to myself, 'If I can do this anyone can.'

Miranda Kerr

  My inspiration and favorite Model was born just one month before me on the East coast of Australia. She grew up modestly and loved surfing. Miranda loved tomboy things like myself such as riding dirt bikes and riding on the back of her dad's motorcycle. She started modeling at the age of 13 and faced the media publicity criticizing her choices. She responded as most of us Tauruses do so Bravely,  "They just made something out of nothing.'
  Miranda represented many brands including Billabong and Roxy before moving to Paris in 2003. She turned down a New York modeling contract to study nutrition, then accepted a second offer in 2004 because she'd broken up with her then boyfriend and figured, Why not? So she moved to New York's East Village, where she worked and went out dancing. She even likes Dr. Dre. Miranda became a Victoria's Secret Angel in 2006—that's when you get to add the prefix supermodel. By 2007 she signed with Arden B, she became the face of one of my favorites Clinique Happy and signed a lucrative six-figure deal to be the new face of Australian department store David Jones. Miranda was also featured in a music video with Kanye West and Pharell.
  In June 2009, Kerr posed naked, chained to a tree, for the Australian issue of Rolling Stones magazine, in order to attract public attention to my favorite animal (just happens that it has been mine my whole life!) the koala. She also represented XOXO, and magazines Cosmopolitan and GQ. She launched an organic skincare line, Kora, in Australia with co-founder George Moskos. In 2010, Kerr walked for design company Prada for their Fall 2010 collection in Milan fashion week
  Like myself Miranda is very spiritual  and believes"we have a responsibility to bring peace and harmony to our lives and the world." She thinks automatic transition is for people who are lazy and maintains her physique through daily yoga, light jogging, and a diet of steamed vegetables, fresh fruit, and fish.
      Love your smile, Love your lifestyle.
      Your intelligent and inspiration to all.

      You very cool and my favorite supermodel.

What Every Girl Needs More Then A Great Pair Of Heal's

 I would tell my friends and family about good grades, work promotion or achievement. I have always been the over achiever maybe seeking more gratification or recognition that I will never obtain because I was seeking the wrong thing.   
 Then came my realization in a strange way. I was having a terrible week, nothing was going well, I was stressed, could not sleep and was not eating well. I was trying to solve a worlds worth of problems and upset about a series of family dramas that I felt took my energy. He told me "You don't have to tell me this about you I already know."
  He is my go to person for everything in life good and bad and in between. He makes me laugh when I frown, solves my puzzles, fixes things that break, and knows how I feel so I don't have to tell him. Not to mention hes the life of the party and a great advice giver.  I don't have to be someone amazing, I don't have to prove myself because to him I will always be someone he's proud of. That's when I realized I'm not only a very lucky girl for having this awesome friend but I also decided that there is a much better gratification then having achievements recognized, and sometimes it's simply not having them recognized.

It can be a father, husband, or friend but every girl needs a go to man in her life more then and great pair of heals.
Mine knows who he is.

Brave Enough To Know

Those that Have Traveled, fought wars and have stories to tell. They have risked their lives and have been the victim of un-fortunate situations.I don't think we stare because we are scared or discussed, however curious of the path traveled and the story to be told. Are we un- judgmental enough to ask? Are we brave enough to know?  Will it change how we feel about our world? Will it change who we become? You never know if you don't have the courage to ask.

The People That Know Me & I Don't Know Them

So last Night Was St. Patrick's Day. I'm 100% Irish all the time and last night was not an exception. I grew up in this very same town and for the most part we know each other. Well, with the exception of the college children that come every year and find a way into our bars, houses, and lives. So I had a few of the "I know you" encounters last night that have been happening more and more. I'm not talking about the random guy saying "yo, I know you" I have a nickname I have gone by to those that I grew up with and if you know me you know what people call me. But someone calling me that (my real name) is my first clue their not lying. Recently the girl ringing up my grocery swore we were best friends in elementary school. Looking at her name tag that read "Ashley"on her work shirt I felt like a huge jerk not knowing who she was. She knew my dogs name, what color my bedroom was when I was 9 and that we camped out for my birthday in 6th grade. Then this guy comes over to me at a restaurant and is very happy and clearly knows me and I just had to say "I'm sorry whats you're first name again?". "He even commented Its cool because we are facebook friends now!" Week after week I feel like a jerk, when I don't recognize these people at all! So last night my friends and I are out celebrating and this guy our age says "I know you!" and "I'm thinking oh shit"... he asks the typical .. "where did you go to school, what year did you graduate?" and he put it together fast that I sat next to him in 3rd grade and that we attended school together the whole way through after reciting teachers names. He knew my name and he even told an embarrassing story about me bringing my teeth to school for show and tell after having some removed to have braces put in. I must have asked his name 3 times, (it may or may not have been Tony) and he looked so disappointed each time. I fell terrible because he was very sweet. I'm even more baffled that this continues to occur. Who are these people? I'm too young for Alzheimer. I was not a bratty child, I was friends with everyone and should remember these people. Now I feel like a bitchy adult and I wonder if this happens to other people? Do you frequently run into people that recognize you and clearly know you and you haven't the faintest clue who they might be?

The Most Difficult Woman I Love

Facebook I need your help! My most challenging relationship my whole life has been my relationship with my Mother. I'm a huge believer in forgiveness, lucky for her, or I would not even be struggling with this today.

My mother was never big on encouragement, (even college) Hugs, or even being remotely evolved in my interests (including modeling & sports). I got lots of tough love, nights being raised by grandparents and freedom to do as I pleased. The freedom turned into trouble by my early teens and of course it was my fault, not lack of a parenting (I'll leave my dad out of this note).
By the age of 14 my mom and I were oil and water to the most extreme case. She did and said many very hurtful things. Some things she does not regret because she lashes out and says them sometimes nowadays. By 16 she lost custody and I no longer lived with her and or relationship was C.E.B. (Christmas, Easter, Birthdays) when we passed through relatives. I was independent, brave and confident. She was angry stubborn and confused. We had gaps of years with maybe only cards until I grew up and decided to truly forgive for me and not her. It would be the hardest decision because I feel myself having to make it over and over again questioning my motive.
We all know when you feel good about yourself, you don't belittle others. It is people who have trouble and misery, people who don't feel good who bring others down.

I know my mom is an unhappy person at heart and struggles with other things, although she would never admit, I'm the only person she can take it out on and she does not hold back. The moments I need her to tell me I'm doing the right thing she will go into a screaming rage and suggest horrible things about me that are not true, and that I'm a disappointment. She is a very beautiful but very ugly person that is smart and likes to see how much control and power she can get. The older, more confident, wiser I get the battle continues and sometimes I feel like shes jealous also. I see through her clearly and she is a whole different woman thin I. I have accepted she will not be the mother I want. Where my challenge comes in is.... She is very hurtful. I have let many people out of my life that drug me down, were not good for me, were toxic so to speak. I look back and they are some of the best decisions of my life! I would not have had the room, time or energy in my life for the 'greatness' if I hung on to the 'toxic'. (get my drift) I'm moving from my hometown in a few short months and have tried to fix my relationship with my mother because I don't know when I will be back and I don't want to have regrets. It is turning into one of the most emotional trying tasks. I had to make the tough choice a few years ago that I could not have my father in my life and I'm asking now At what cost do you maintain a relationship with a parent? and how without going crazy myself?

Expectations (something old)

Expectations.
It's the light to the future and the link to yesterday.

It's the understanding of our faith and the knowledge of today.

It's the meaning of the little voice inside of your head; it's to see existing life when everything else appears dead.

It's to set your highest standards, do you're very best, think to your greatest ability and rise above the rest.

It's daring to be different when everything remains the same; it's to see sunlight shining through despite the rain.

Consider yourself an individual not like any other, because we can make it in this world if we just work together.

An Easy Choice!

We all need to take stock of our lives every day, Its our responsibility ..our legacy.

The best complement I ever receive was "what I like best about her is when she says she is doing something that girl is doing it. She doesn't talk to hear herself."
I went into the year knowing I was going to be making huge changes and excited about them. I decided much about a change in life direction, following my heart, career change and attitude change. I'm a girl with fins from a small town in Pennsylvania and feel a little displaced. I want to surf, scuba dive, boat, party, and be around much more open minded people. I tried conforming to a cookie cutter, (more then some know) and decided it's not for me anymore. The coastal, cultural and artistic town of Miami, Florida is soon to be where I call home and study Science.

I have always been very confident in who I'am, and feeling (and following) intuitions. What I did not foresee this year was the drastic impact my choices would have on so many other people, all good in my eyes. Communicating my ideas and sending the right vibrations to others, made so many people come to terms with topics and insecurities in their own lives, and maybe intimidating to others.
This is the way I see it, weather all humans know it or not there is a power struggle constantly going on. I took power to change my life one day at the drop of a ball point pen at my 'sick of this crap job' and I hope that others realize they can do the same thing and never conform and feel stuck. I'll admit, I did not know until recently how much people were impacted choices I make and watching me and its genuinely flattering. For those people I have added extra words at the bottom I hope you find inspiring because each and every one of us has the potential to achieve greater things than we can ever imaging for ourselves.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Love intensely. Play with abandon. Laugh! Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is and remember, happiness is a journey, not a destination

FOLLOW YOUR HEART! That's right. It's the cure for a boring, menial, routine, mediocre, and unsatisfactory life. Most people are not and will not follow their heart because they are tied to the Matrix, which fills them up with numerous illusions, especially fear. People have compromised following their heart under the illusion of having to make a living, which is really bullshit! You are not here for a J-O-B! You are here for a higher soul or spiritual purpose. One of these days (or lifetimes) you are going to figure this out. To not follow your heart is to not trust God or the Universe. It is a sign that you lack faith. You can't have faith in God or the Universe and then not have faith in following your heart. You can't believe in God or the Universe and then have a fear of taking a risk or risks or chances in life. Risk is more a natural part of life than security. Risk leads to growth and new experiences unlike immobility due to security and convenience. And are you really secure and convenient in your so-called security and convenience? Remove yourself from the illusion of your comfort zone. Become insecure. Lose your guarantees because there are no real guarantees in life on the mundane level. Inconvenience yourself by taking a risk, a chance, perhaps and possibly, the opportunity or risk of a lifetime. Get out of the knowing and get into the mystery, the mystery of life. Take a chance! Every chance is an opportunity. Failure does not exist. There is no such thing as failure, only results not desired, which can be improved upon and the desired result can eventually manifest or be attained. Fear is not natural! Fear paralyzes! Fear will prevent you from truly living and enjoying life. If you are afraid of dying right now, it's because you are not living and living thoroughly, passionately, and intensely in the present moment. Start taking reasonable chances and risks right now predicated upon faith in God/Universe to protect and provide for you and watch the miracles begin to unfold and consistently.

You see too many people are waiting for a better thing to come along or a better opportunity to present itself, when in reality that opportunity could be right in front of you all the time.

On Love

Girls know what they want. When they ask a question its for a reason. Girls know sometimes you only get one chance. Girls listen and when they talk they expect you to LISTEN to the information they are telling you. Girls are too smart to mistake lust for love, but will take the lust and see if it falls into love. Girls know love is blinding, We know to use our heads and let our hearts follow close behind. Yes, a girls best friends' opinion is important because if she is smart she knows that she is over come with butterflies and cant see everything the way it really is. Women see through the bullshit so don't game face, Say what you mean and mean what you say. Because that people that mind, dont matter and the people that matter dont mind.

Why Girls don't trust boys. We have all been lied to, cheated on, hurt. You. Me. Everyone. Still I don't believe in living our life in fear and with thoughts of what could have been. This will only lead you to a life full of bitterness, regret, and anger. We will talk about our last relationships and why they didn't work, or how far and hard we have let ourselves fall for someone and how hard it was to pick ourselves up in the end. We have wanted to have faith and dated, we have seen the games guys play.. because thats where we leaned them. We have heard you say you want to be with one girl because you're sick of the games and then we have seen pictures of you with other girls. Don't think for a second that we are naive because we don't call you out on your behavior. Smart women will step back and let you hang yourself and lose the chance you had with the girl you loved in the end.

Girls have seen it all. Girls have seen what appear to be sweet sensitive guys that turn out to still be heartbroken and full of baggage. We have dated guys that are way to crazy in love with sports to have room in their game schedule for a relationship. (and this is coming form a sports fan). Most Girls have also had dating encounters with the controlling miserable man, the cheater/player and the metro sexual that spends more time with our hair products then we do. Maybe worst of all the guy that refuses to grow up. The guy that has tons of potential and is everything you thought you ever-wanted but either will not move out of his parents, or constantly needs reassurance because hes unconfident of everything he's doing. Maybe he will not make a necessary career or education decision or follow his heart, or maybe he just is not ready for love with another person because he is still being selfish and thats ok, what's not ok is wasting to much time with a guy that is still being a boy.

Mindless games have mindless names but out from the darkness in the light came...

I believe in Love. Actually I believe only in love and light, few will understand how that vibration is at the heart of human existence however it is very relevant in the intuitions we feel and follow with the people we meet everyday. Connections are not coincidences. Ask me if you want to understand more but for now Im going to keep this simple.

If you ask my friends some may say I don't want to go near love with a ten foot pole and others would go as far to say Im boy crazy, one would even say it does not matter if he is Mr. Right because you two are together to teach each other a something. It just depends who you ask.

If you ask my ex boyfriends they would most likely suggest "Im the girl that got away and if you have a chance to make me yours don't mess it up."


The truth is no one can define love accurately. Some people can say love sucks, some can say it rocks their world, or some can have no comment at all. But the truth is when love comes it'll hit us all and we'll react in different ways but bottom line is we want love, we want to love and be loved. No matter how hard you push it away, love will still come to you. In different forms or gestures but it's still there whether you realise it or not. And when it comes you might not realise it at first but when you do love really is the best drug in the whole world and Love makes life easier when life gets hard.